I am considering becoming a missing person...

Ok...so last night I got ZERO sleep.
I had a nightmare that the photographer for the wedding didn't show, and no one in attendance brought a camera.
It felt so real, I was so relieved when I woke up that I could have sung a show tune.
Then as soon as I fell back asleep I started dreaming again. This time, my wedding cake was in the shape of a boat. Honestly..a boat? We don't even own a boat.

This was around 4 am, and I haven't been back to sleep since. I turned on the night side lamp and started reading my book. Jodi Picoult - Vanishing Acts. ( I hope I am spelling her name right, i dint have the book handy at the moment)

In the book the main character Delia finds out that her father kidnapped her when she was a small child and moved to New Hampshire. She thought her mother died in a car accident when she was a baby, but that was just her fathers cover story.

This whole wedding thing has me envious of this alter life. Would it be possible for Kev & I to pack up the kids and move away where no one would ever see us again? Sounds sad I know. But honestly, besides friends and MY family we have no one here. His mother and family thinks we are a joke.
Tuesday was my middle sons 6th birthday and K's mom came over for a small cake. She did not even say HELLO to me. I pretend that it doesn't bother me but it genuinely does. I am so sick of talking to K about it because all he does it get mad at me. He doesn't let it bother him and thinks that I should take the same approach. But being a woman means that I have feelings that are capable of being hurt.

I really want this wedding to go off without a hitch and show K's family that we deserve happiness and their blessing. But part of me hopes that their response cards come back with the words..."unable to attend"

I have no clue how we are going to pay for this. Getting married fast seemed like a good idea 6 months ago, and now that all the final balances are due. . . we are broke.
I am working as much as possible.
Then not to mention K's brothers wedding is next Friday. The final head count of their wedding is 201 people. And the final cost was $275 a person. It is traditional that you give them $ in the amount of their per/person total? That's the rumor going around anyway.
So that would mean that K and I would need to shell out around $500 as a gift to them. Not to mention the $$$ I spent on their shower present, and the $200 a piece it cost K and our son to rent tuxes to be in the wedding.

I am sure it will all come together. . . i hope anyway. It's really sad to me that I just can't wait for this whole thing to be done and over with... : (